Coach Morgan?
I have a secret.
It’s like one of those secrets that you know are going to make things weird between us so you really don’t want to say it, but it’s kind of just been floating over everyones head and you can tell no one wants to ask. I guess I just have to say it? Is there an attractiveness to just letting it be an unanswered question? Well, I think I just have to make the first move and then the words will just start flowing.
I’ve never actually been in a real relationship.
WHATTTTTTTTT?!!!?!
So what I’m telling you guys is that I’ve given all this advice, made all these post and have never actually been through a real relationship myself?!
Yes, and the way you guys make it seem, I think I’m good on it.
Kidding, Kind of. Let me clear up some things though because for those of you guys that I haven’t lost complete trust with, I feel like you deserve an explanation.
I’ve been in several situationships, a lot of “ almost” and a couple “ What are we doings.” I have been asked to be someone's girlfriend. I have pillow talked my way into a lot of unnecessarily complicated bonds and had the weird “ We just broke up, but never dated” moments.
But I’ve never been an official girlfriend unless we want to count 2nd grade.
Let me just say, I make these blogs for me too. In no way do I ever want anyone to think I am the relationship expert. I truly take every situation I’ve been in and apply the lessons I’ve learned to help the next girl who has no clue what’s going on.
I am also a “ runner.”( look at ‘My Life of a Ghoster’ blog.) I hate to admit it, but I don’t think I’m all too excited about the idea of love. Situationships are never a good idea. EVER. However, they do let you “ slide” on a lot of things we fear.
1. For one, I don’t have to struggle with you. This sounds so mean, but there really is no other way to say it. As a girlfriend I know that I would be 100% invested to the point that if your pockets are short, life starts looking rough, a big change is happening I would want to stick through it with you. In contrast, if we aren’t dating, I have no ties to be down when you are and same for you when I start to become a stressor. I would care of course and I probably still would try to help as much as I could without it being something officially added to my plate. At the end of the day though, we aren’t more than a convenience to each other as far as situationships are involved.
2. We can be honest. In a perfect world this would be the foundation of all situationships. Why lie to someone who has the choice to walk away and still hasn’t yet even with all the things that come with a relationship like this. There are so many grey areas, it’s honestly hard for anyone in the situation to be mad about much. So, you can say if you’re talking to other people or if you don’t like something involving you guys because once again this is something that isn’t binding in any way, so it should at least be fun.
3. I get a lot of the perks without a lot of the hard parts. If you aren’t a super emotional based person or you know how to regulate who you give your emotion to, situationships can definitely be seen as the easier route because you can do the lay ups, the texting and facetime calls or even dates without having to be completely attached. It sounds crazy, I know because why not just date? You got nothing from this. If I’m not emotionally ready, if my time is better filled in other places, if my money isn’t right, if I haven’t found boyfriend material, if I just don’t feel like being completely invested, I can have someone to fill the rare gaps that I need someone to fill without having to be your girlfriend.
I am in NO WAY saying situationships are better than finding that one person that you feel you want to struggle with, be honest to, have fun around. There have even been people in my life that I’ve been in situationships with and could really see myself dating (that’s when you have to pull away) and it’s not always me doing the running. There is always the risk that you may not be what the person wants and it hurts a little at first, but that’s what comes with putting yourself in something so lightly taken. The whole point of situationships and when I’ve seen them be most successful is when both parties choose this dynamic and it’s realized that it’s short lived.I haven’t been in a relationship, but I do know people keep getting into them so there has to be something to it. Sometimes I think maybe I talked myself into thinking this type of life is fitting for me right now? However, “A real coach doesn’t play”. I stand on the sidelines and watch the mistakes of those around me while also learning about the positives and challenges within myself. I do all of this so when I am ready, when I find the person who is ready ,we can hopefully still have our coaching skills.
Whew. Glad that’s off my chest.
